Today it’s been a month, and you may be wondering — what happened with my first daring foray into being authentic and breaking some rules?
I’ve been at work 19 days since I got my nose pierced, a clear violation of the dress code at work, especially for management. And only TWO people have said anything. They both said something as soon as they saw me for the first time since the holidays — one was curious and surprised, the other complimentary. But neither my boss, nor an HR director I met with one-on-one, nor any of my immediate peers, nor my direct reports, have said a thing.
What does this mean? I’m really not sure. I can tell most people notice it, but their faces don’t change, nor do they seem uncomfortable. Maybe they’re really not seeing it. Maybe they think (as somone at the piercing studio suggested) I always had it.
I think what is more likely is they don’t know what to say, they are afraid to say anything (?), or they have more important things to worry about. Regardless of the reason, I feel a mix of relief and disappointment. I’m not disappointed because I’m sad to have missed a chance to make a point or take some big, loud stance. I’m disappointed because I expected more. I expected accountability — at least a question — especially from my boss. That’s what I would have done if someone who reported to me showed up with a nose piercing: “Hey, I see you got some new jewelry there. Tell me about that?” Then I would have said something about taking it out at work or (now that I have one) saying it’s against policy but I’m not going to make it an issue. If the person were a colleague, I would have said something appreciative or at least acknowledging, depending on the person. Then I might have asked my boss about what I’d seen (“so, did the policy change?”), or gone out and gotten one myself. 🙂
Right now, I interpret the silence as another symptom of dysfunction in the organization. If we are unable, unwilling, or too stressed out to notice the little things that aren’t right — much less hold each other accountable — then it’s no wonder we have a general lack of consistent accountability and a culture that has streaks of anger, injustice, and righteous entitlement.
It’s odd — even though I didn’t get the piercing to make a point or be a rebel (nor is being a rebel my M.O.), I have found myself oddly emboldened by the lack of reaction. It almost makes me want to push envelopes I had no intention of signing, sealing and delivering in the first place. It gives me insight into why (and how) other folks might make such envelope pushing their way of work life, or feel it’s their right to do so. There are fundamental problems in any system when the line of accountability is blurry, moves around or appears so far down the field that once someone finally calls foul, the foul lacks credibility and evokes indignance or disrespect from the violator. When certain policies aren’t taken seriously, how do people know which ones are? I’m not advocating for rigid, consistent application of the letter of all laws, but at least a noticing and dialoguing when people violate agreements that we implicity or explicitly make with each other.
So today I did Rule Breaking Part II, but not because of the lack of reaction, mind you, this was already part of the plan. Today, 2-4-12 at age 42 I got my 4th tattoo at 4:00 by a woman with a four-letter name (!). She did a beautiful job and it didn’t hurt nearly as much as the other three. I was nervous about this one, but I love it.
And I am not going to cover it up at work when summer comes.
Today is Imbolc — the first day of spring. It is a day of new life, of new green tendrils poking up through the hard, frozen, sleeping earth. And as of today I wear another external symbol of my commitment to what is real, what is authentic, and what is important.
In lack ech,