How to turn the Head Cheerleader into a High School Dropout (or How to Turn a Bright, Enthusiastic, Self-Motivated Employee into a Disgruntled One: A Guide for Managers)

This is a compilation of my own experience, and that of others I have witnessed or talked to over the last few years.  All of them happen to be women, thus the use of the female pronoun throughout.

Please contribute your own additions by commenting at the end!

  • Don’t give her a realistic picture of the challenges she is about to face in a new or expanded role
  • Transition her quickly into a new or expanded role with little preparation or handoff
  • When changing her reporting structure, do it by just letting her know, instead of in a meeting with all involved parties, with a clear and doable transition plan and timeline
  • Don’t praise her
  • If you do praise her, don’t be specific about what she has done that is praiseworthy — say something vague like “good job!”
  • Hold her to higher standards than her colleagues and rely on her to make up for her colleagues’ inadequacies instead of addressing her colleagues’ inadequacies
  • Hold her accountable for minor infractions or mistakes and ignore others’ major violations
  • Don’t appreciate her for working extra hours on her own or going above and beyond — don’t notice, or just take it for granted
  • Bury her in transactional minutia and the tedium of personnel problems — take away all time to think, study and create
  • Expect her to drop everything at a moment’s notice to please you or meet your priorities, without knowing what else she has going on in her business
  • Tell her what to do, and how
  • Treat her like a child — be a school marm, especially when it comes to things like her clothing, hair, or the appearance of her desk
  • Don’t trust her even though she hasn’t given any sign of untrustworthiness
  • Don’t give her help when she needs and wants it, but give her help when she doesn’t need it and hasn’t asked for it
  • Don’t obtain her the resources necessary for her to do a good (much less excellent) job
  • Say no instead of exploring reasons, pros and cons
  • Pay one of her newly-hired employees almost as much as her
  • Don’t give her feedback on what she can improve
  • If she asks for feedback or doubts her approach or skills, just say “you’re fine”
  • Don’t mentor her — let her learn by making mistakes
  • Don’t call her on inappropriate decisions or behaviors until it’s really bad or people are complaining
  • Punish her for being honest and taking ownership of her mistakes; reward others for not owning their mistakes, lying, or being passive-aggressive … by ignoring them
  • When she does something out of character or suddenly “acts out”, come down hard or discipline her without asking what is going on
  • Treat her like the enemy at the first sign of disagreement or hesitation to toe the party line
  • Take her decisions and mistakes personally
  • Undermine her authority — make decisions and take action without consulting or including her on things within her area of responsibility or expertise
  • Take away the things she loves the most about her job
  • Don’t back her up, especially when the stakes are high
  • Don’t stand up for her to colleagues who are bullies, in the wrong, or focused on the wrong priorities
  • Say good and promising words but don’t back them up with actions
  • Go back on your word
  • Be too overwhelmed and overworked yourself to give her the time and support she needs
  • Be reactive instead of proactive or strategic
  • Focus on profit and bottom line more than people and relationships
  • Focus on pleasing your colleagues or boss over pleasing the customer/patient/community
  • Don’t stand up for fairness and justice — cave to politics
  • Don’t use your power to stand up for good values, sanity, and positive change.  Allow fear to be your primary motivator
  • When she is upset or frustrated, tell her about your problems instead of listening and empathizing, or problem solving
  • When she comes to you with concerns about her job, and ideas for how to solve the problem, don’t do anything about it until she announces she is leaving
  • When she says she is unhappy, thinking of leaving, or has received a better offer, don’t ask “what can I do to change your mind or make you want to stay?”
  • Punish and attempt to discredit her when she’s finally had enough and actually leaves

What would you add to this list?  Please leave a response!

Ometeotl!

~Jaxsine~

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